


For The Horde!

by Arikitteh



Category: Chikara (Professional Wrestling), Professional Wrestling, World of Warcraft
Genre: Gen, International Fanworks Day 2016
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-20 23:06:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6028786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arikitteh/pseuds/Arikitteh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when The Gentleman's Club gets together to play World of Warcraft?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pre-Raid Prep

**Author's Note:**

> This was started for International Fanworks Day, 2016. Chuck Taylor has said in interviews that he used to be a WoW player when he was younger. I thought it might be fun to speculate on what if he still played and got some of his buddies into the game as well.

Chuck Taylor dropped down in his comfy old desk chair, sitting in front of his Imac. He set the two liter of Mt. Dew down next to his oversized bag of chips before reaching for the gaming headset and mic combo that hung from the top of his monitor. Sliding the headset on, he hastily opened up ventrillo, logging on to the small server he kept just for his guild of buddies who ran Hordeside. Their guild was of course called ' _The Gentleman's Club_ ', and most of it's members were people who'd been in at least one episode of his youtube series of the same name. The others were a few guys they knew from the indy scene who played World of Warcraft casually during what little free time they had.

Today they were gonna pull together whoever was on and wanted to come join them taking on the classic Onxya raid. Not only were they doing it to get some missing achievements, but the boss sometimes, rarely, dropped a dragon mount. Chuckie wanted that mount.

Logging into WoW, he wasn't surprised to see the core 'raid group' of the guild were already online and prepping for this raid. He logged onto his Orc Protection Warrior, his primary tank and one of the main tanks the guild used for most of their raids. Drew Gulak was on his Blood Elf Protection Paladin, the guild's other primary tank for raiding. The irony of one of the few Jews in their guild playing a holy knight was not lost on any of them.

Swamp Monster was on his Tauran Restoration Shaman, one of their primary healers, while Orange Cassidy was on his Troll Discipline Priest, their other primary healer. Dr. Colonel Nolan Angus was running his Troll Druid, currently spec'd for Feral DPS, but he could offtank the whelp's if they got drawn into the fight. Icarus was rolling his Goblin Beast Mastery Hunter, and his pet was a giant red triceratops named 'Buttrape'. Chuckie snickered once he saw that, then sent out a message in guild chat asking if anyone else wanted to join their group, as they still had plenty of spots for more DPS.

Not that they'd need anyone else, as all of them were running well geared level 100 characters, honestly any of them could have solo'd Onxya. But they wanted to get the guild achievement, and for that they did need to have a guild group. Plus it was just more fun doing this as a group. They had plans to turn this into a whole afternoon thing, going to as many other old raids as they could get done today for the guild achievements.

“Hey, guys? Can I come?” the question come from an all too familiar voice in vent chat. Chuckie groaned softly, knowing it was his sometimes tag partner, Trent? who wanted in on the raid runs.

“You got anyone who isn't geared like shit and you can actually play well?” Chuck asked, his smirk could be heard clearly in his voice and he didn't do a damn thing to try and hide it. “Your mage has shit for gear and you suck at playing him. Honestly, I'd rather take Ricochet's mage with us.”

“You guys need my mage? I can switch over. Was just killing some daily's on my warlock.” Ricochet chimed in.

“Yeah, grab your mage, Ricochet. Trent, go get on your Ret Pally, at least Drew can tell you how to set up your damn rotation so you don't suck.” Chuckie said, hearing Trent's whine caused him to shrug. “Ret Pally and listen to Gulak, or you don't get to raid, Trent. No mage for you until you learn how to play one and gear one properly.”

“I'll help you with your mage later, Trent.” Ricochet offered as he was switching characters.

Trent grumbled, but went to switch over to his Blood Elf Retribution Paladin, then he begged Ricochet to come to Silvermoon to open a portal so he could get to Orgrimmar.

“Trent, you lazy fucker. Be glad I like you. I usually charge punks 10 gold for a portal.” Ricochet grumbled.

“But you charged Chuckie 5 gold yesterday for one.” Trent whined.

“Yeah, I gave Chuckie my 'family and friends' discount.”

“Ha! Suck it, Trent!” Chuckie teased as he finished trading Orange Cassidy some herbs from his garrison for a few flasks for raiding. “I say you should make Trent pay 20 gold for a portal.”

“I'll just take a cut outta whatever he gets from the raids today.” Ricochet said with a laugh. “We running DKP or open rolls?”

“Up to Drew, since he keeps track of the DKP stuff.” Chuckie said. Drew was better with keeping track of all the spreadsheets for the guild's DKP raiding system, keeping track of who went on which raids and got points for what kills was too much accounting work for Chuck.

“Since I gotta babysit Trent and make sure he's not screwing around on his Pally, we can do open rolls today for everything. Including rare mount drops, to make this fair for everyone.” Drew chimed in. “Trent can you drop into the general chat room in vent so I can walk you through setting up your shit without the peanut gallery trying to fuck you up too much?”

“Drew, before you do that, yell at Rory to get on. We need some more good DPS today, since we gotta carry Trent's lazy ass. Tell him he can bring whoever he wants, we just need the DPS.” Chuckie said.

“Rory just got on, I'll pass the message along.” Drew said before he dropped into the other chat room to help Trent.

A few moments passed, then Rory joined them in vent. “You guys need more melee or ranged?” Drew's older brother asked as he was logging into WoW.

“For melee right now we got Me, Drew, The Colonel, and Trent. Ranged so far we got Icarus and Ricochet. Would be nice to have another ranged, but whatever you want to bring along is cool.” Chuckie replied.

“I'll get my warlock, but if we head to Dragon Soul I'll swap to my rogue. Still need the stuff from there for my daggers.” Rory said.

“Cool, think you're the only one who needs the boss drops from there for 'em.” Chuckie said.

“Yeah, my rogue needs a Deathwing kill for my daggers. I don't need the boss drops, finished those last week.” Ricochet said.

“Ok, can you run your mage until we get to Deathwing?” Chuckie asked.

“Sure thing, I want some of that mage gear to finish my transmog.” Ricochet replied.

“Guys, can we do Firelands too? Swampy needs the boss kills for his legendary staff, and I need a Rag kill for mine.” Orange Cassidy asked.

“Ok, we're gonna do Onxya, Karazhan, and Ulduar, for the mounts, then Icecrown Citadel. I'm finishing up the stuff I need for Shadowmourne. After that we'll take a group food and pee break, then go hit up Firelands and Dragon Soul. Sound good to everyone?” Chuckie asked, laying out the plans for this afternoon's raiding.

“If the druid staff drops in Firelands, can I have it?” The Colonel asked.

“You see any other druids in the group? It's all yours.” Chuckie said.

“Good, nearly had it two weeks ago on a PUG group, but the lead gave it to his buddy instead. Didn't even let me roll on it, jackass.” The Colonel grumbled.

“That's why I always tell you to wait for a guild group. PUGs are fulla assholes.” Icarus chimed in. “We doing ICC on norm or heroic?”

“Does it matter, Ic?” Chuck asked.

“It matters for the version of the crossbow that the Bitch King drops. I want that shit for mog.” Icarus explained.

“You want the norm or heroic version? I don't give two shits which version of ICC we do.” Chuck shrugged as he reached to open up a jar of Taco Bell salsa for his chips.

“Heroic, duh. If it ain't Heroic then there's no point.” Icarus said, which got a round of agreement from the others who were in vent. "What's taking Drew so long?”

“It's Trent. He can't follow directions, or pay attention. I'll go into general chat to see what the holdup is.” Chuckie said.

“Good, we can talk shit about you when you go.” Ricochet joked.

“No loot for Ricochet.” Chuckie teased before going to check on Drew and Trent.

“Guys, anything going on today?” It was none other than Johnny Gargano, popping into vent to see if there was anything he could join in.

“I don't know if Chuckie wants you today. We already gotta carry Trent's lazy ass.” Icarus spoke up before anyone else could.

“Where's Chuck, I'll tell him to boot Trent so I can go. I'm a much better raider than Trent is.” Johnny said.

“Don't tell me you're gonna bring your shadow priest. It's weird seeing you playing a chick.” Ricochet said.

“What's so weird about it? I like looking at a chick when I play.” Johnny said as he went to log on WoW.

“It's weird when people just give you stuff because you're playing a girl.” Icarus said.

“I bet he's had guys whisper him in chat wanting to get freaky.” Orange Cassidy said.

“I'm not drunk enough for this shit. Where's my damn bourbon?” The Colonel grumbled.

“I bet that's why you keep playing a girl, Johnny. You're a sick freak!” Ricochet said.

“What'd Johnny do this time?” Chuck's voice was heard as he, Drew, and Trent rejoined the raid chat.

“He want's to bring his shadow priest in the raid.” Ic spoke up over everyone else's laughter.

“You better put clothes on your priest, Johnny. I swear I saw you running around naked dancing in front of the auction house in Org the other day. You don't wanna know how many shots I needed to forget I saw that!” Chuckie remarked. That was enough to get a round of 'Ew! Johnny you nasty!' from the rest of the guys.

“You get Trent set up right?” Ricochet asked, more to change the subject than anything else.

“Yeah, sorry it took so long. Had to get him to change all his talents and glyphs. He was specced for a Holy Pally when he wanted to be a Ret one. Had to make him a couple pieces of new gear too, he had too much healer gear and not enough DPS gear.” Drew explained.

“Why not just let him go Holy then?” Rory asked.

“You really trust Trent to be a healer?” Drew replied, and was met by a bunch of silence afterward. After a few moment's passed, Chuckie slowly spoke.

“So, we're planning to run a bunch of raids today, right?”

That was met by a chorus of 'Yeah's from the other guys.

“Ok, raid group breakdown for today; Drew and I are tanking. We'll be trading off main and offtanking, if you healers are wondering who's doing what just ask before we pull. Swampy and OC are our healers, if we need a third healer The Colonel can step up and do that. Who's gonna tank heal, and who's raid heals?” Chuck asked, as he started to set up the raid group.

“Swampy can take raid healing, as his AoE heals are better than mine.” Orange Cassidy said. Swampy made a noise of agreement, and Chuckie switched them around in the raid group.

“If anyone needs flasks talk to OC. He takes trade in herbs, or you can straight up buy 'em off him for cheaper than the auction house price. Get 'em before we start, cuz once we get going you won't see an auction house until we take our break after Icecrown Citadel. Swampy's a scribe and can make you a shoulder inscription if you're missing it, he also accepts herbs or straight up gold. Any casters need spell thread, talk to Ricochet, for non-caster leg reinforcements talk to The Colonel. Other than that, grab any last minute stuff you need and meet me by the flight master in five. We're heading to Onyxia first.” Chuckie said, as he finished setting up the raid group. The rest of the guys either made their way to one of their fellow guildies to get prepped, or to the auction house to buy things they'd need to raid. Chuck headed to the bank to grab a bunch of feasts out of the guild bank, knowing they could use all the buffs they could get with this group.

Not that Chuck was worried about too many wipes, just that he knew they had a couple casuals in with the core raid team, so it'd take a bit more time to explain fight mechanics today. And the more buffs and advantages they could have, the bigger of a cushion they'd have for the inevitable mistakes. It's why he told the casuals to get flasks, shoulder enchantments, and leg reinforcements. Every little bit helped. Hopefully they wouldn't have too much trouble, although he fully expected a couple wipes in ICC due to the learning curve on some of the fights.

It'd be worth it though once he had the final components he needed to forge Shadowmourne. And if they got any of the rare drop mounts from the raids they were hitting before ICC, that'd be sweet icing on the cake. At the guild bank Chuck also grabbed a couple extra flasks and other things for Trent, as he had a gut feeling that Trent wouldn't grab enough, or buy the wrong ones. Or that OC would give Trent the wrong flasks just to be funny.

Chuck took a few deep calming breaths before he headed for the elevator to get up to the flight master. Today would be very interesting, in the Chinease sense of the word. Also the Firefly sense.


	2. Ni Hao

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Farming, PvP, and Gnome ganking happens as The Gents run into a couple people they didn't expect to see playing World of Warcraft.

Dustwallow Marsh was an often overlooked zone in World of Warcraft. If you played Alliance, it was home to Theramore Isle, Jaina Proudmoore's city, a place where Alliance characters could pick up many quests for the zone. The neutral goblin town of Mudsprocket was also in the zone, close to the cave where the black dragon Onxya made her lair.

Dustwallow is overlooked now because most players choose to level through random dungeons instead of questing. The only players who still go to the zone are the few who'd rather quest, and those farming for herbs or leather for professions. As the zone is filled with beasts to skin, and herbs to pick. This is why Canadian wrestler, Danny Duggan, was in the zone with his Gnome Mage. He was picking herbs and skinning beasts as fast as he could to fill his bags with herbs and leather to restock his guild's bank.

Danny had been sent on this farming 'mission' by his guild leaders, Viktor and Kevin Thorn. Viktor and Kevin seemed to enjoy making Danny miserable, sending him to farm materials for the guild was minor compared to some of the other things they'd done to Danny in the past. Or so it seemed. Truthfully, Kevin and Viktor were waiting for Danny to get ganked, seeing as how his mage was only level 35, the bare minimum to be in the zone, it's a contested zone, on a PvP server, and Danny is terrible at playing mages.

Danny took Viktor's advice on heading to Mudsprocket for the skinning, due to the large amount of black dragonflight guards and black dragon whelps in the area who guard Onxya's Lair. Unfortunately for Danny, Mudsprocket is the very place Chuck Taylor and his buddies are flying to from Orgrimmar....

“Tell me I did not just see a gnome farming whelps!” Chuckie called out in vent chat as they were landing at the flight master just outside Mudsprocket.

“I wanna gank it first!” Icarus replied, already swapping out his direhorn for a bone spider before his hunter started rushing off towards Danny's mage. Swamp Monster made a noise before his shaman followed Icarus.

“He swapped for the spida! He's in super cereal PvP mode.” Ricochet chimed in as he started following behind Swampy. Everyone else started following as well, holding back so Icarus could kill the little gnome.

Danny didn't stand a chance, as Icarus used his giant spider's web ability to trap Danny's gnome, then Ic filled the gnome with more arrows than Boromir got when they killed him off in the LOTR films. Danny's mage got turned into a gnome pincushion.

“Camp and round robin gankfest.” Chuckie said as they watched the gnome corpse turn to a skeleton, meaning that Danny had released. His spirit would pop up at the nearest graveyard, and he'd have a short run to return to where his corpse had been to be able to resurrect.

As The Gents waited for the gnome to rez, they took turns t-bagging the dead body, and dancing around in game. Once the gnome had resurrected, Drew smacked it with his mace. One hit, and the gnome was dead again. Still the Horde players danced around, waiting for the gnome to rez.

Each time Danny tried to get his mage back on it's feet, he got ganked. He was a one hit kill for the level 100's. Getting fed up, Danny got in guild chat.

“Kev, Vik, I need help. There's a bunch of level 100 horde guys killing me over here!” Danny begged for help.

“What's your current coordinates, Danny?” Kevin Thorn asked. Danny gave them his in game location.

“Ok, heading to Menethil Harbor so I can catch the boat to Theramore now. And I see Viktor's shammie following me around so I'm dragging him with me.” Kevin said.

“Kev, use your vial of the sands mount so I can ride with you and not get left behind. I want some snacks.” Viktor said. A second later Kevin's worgen death knight turned into a large dragon that looked like it'd been carved from stone. Moments later, a tall blue draenei shaman, wearing engineering goggles, jumped into the saddle on the dragon's back.

“AFK grabbing snacks.” Viktor said, before he got up from his desk and headed to the kitchen.

“Bring me back some beef jerky and something to drink.” Kevin said as he watched Viktor heading out. Viktor made a sound of assent, as in game Kevin the dragon flew out of Ironforge, heading to the Wetlands where they could catch the boat to Duskwallow.

A few moments later, Viktor tossed a bag of beef jerky at Kevin, before leaning in the doorway to pass Kev a bottle of Molsen. As Kevin opened the bottle, Viktor left the room, then came back carrying a bag of microwave popcorn and a Molsen for himself. Viktor got settled at his desk, ripping open the popcorn as Kevin landed on the boat.

“So, what's the plan?” Viktor asked, before tossing a handful of popcorn in his mouth.

“I was thinking we stay airborne, just circle the area and watch Danny getting ganked for a bit.” Kevin replied while tearing open his bag of jerky. Viktor chuckled before taking a pull from his beer.

“Wonder how long it's gonna take Danny to realize we didn't come to help him.” Kevin could hear the evil smirk in Viktor's tone.

As the former tag partners headed to Duskwallow, poor Danny was doing everything he could think of to get away from the group of horde guys who were corpse camping his gnome. Danny even tried to resurrect at the graveyard near Mudsprocket, only to get jumped by Doctor Colonel Nolan Angus's druid in giant cat form. The Colonel had been stealthed and waiting for him near the graveyard. Danny was getting real tired of getting ganked by the time a large stone dragon started to circle around the area overhead. Recognizing Kevin and Viktor, Danny let out a sigh of relief, just before Ricochet's mage killed him, again.

“Oh, shit, guys! The gnome called in backup from his guild!” Trent sounded worried once he'd spotted the dragon circling overhead.

“Only two of them. We can take 'em.” Orange Cassidy said.

“Wait a sec, guys. I think I know who that space goat riding on the dragon is. Let me go check my battle net friends list....” Johnny said as he opened up his friends list. “Yep, it's exactly who I thought it was. I'm gonna ask him if they're here to save the gnome.”

“Who is it, Johnny?” Chuckie asked.

“One of the guys from the 'E. Don't worry, let me talk to him. He's pretty cool about stuff.” Johnny replied as he messaged Viktor.

“One of the guys from the 'E? Is that Xavier Woods?” Drew asked.

“No, it's not Woods. I'll tell you who it is in a sec. Let me talk to him first, ok?” Johnny said, then went back to typing out the message.

Viktor started laughing, causing Kevin to glance over at him with a questioning expression. “This is getting better, Kev. I just got messaged from one of the horde guys. It's Gargano down there with a bunch of his old CHIKARA buddies. They're the ones ganking Danny!”

“Really? Tell Johnny to gank Danny again. I never get tired of watching that.” Kevin said.

“Will do.” Viktor said, still laughing as he sent a response to Johnny.

“Guys, they wanna see us gank the gnome again. Viktor just told me they came out here to watch the gnome getting killed, not to save him.” Johnny relayed the message to The Gents.

“Wait a sec.... Viktor? As in one half of The Ascension, Viktor?” Rory asked.

“Yep, that Viktor.” Johnny answered.

“If Viktor's the draenei, then who's the dragon and the gnome?” The Colonel asked.

“The dragon is Kevin Thorn. And the gnome is Danny Duggan.” Johnny informed them.

“That explains why they want us to keep killing the gnome.” Chuckie said. “Who's turn is it to kill the gnome next?”

“Swampy's turn.” Drew said.

Swamp Monster had shifted out of restoration shaman to elemental shaman, and he simply bbq'd the gnome using chain lightning. A loud cheer went up from The Gents, and the pair of alliance flying overhead could be seen cheering them on.

“What are they doing cheering? Why aren't they running these horde idiots off?” Danny wondered, then took to guild chat. “Guys, you can come save me anytime.”

Kevin and Viktor exchanged a look. “You tell him.” Kevin said.

“Don't wanna save you, Danny. Watching you die is too much fun.” Viktor typed out in guild chat.

“I should have known better than to rely on either of you to rescue me! That's it, I'm logging off to go get lunch! Farm your own shit for the guild bank!” Danny grumbled and logged out in a huff.

“Damnit, what are we supposed to do for fun now?” Kevin asked as the gnome vanished from the game.

“I guess we can go kill Onxya to try to get the mount. Since we're already out here.” Viktor said with a shrug.

“Fine, I'll tank her. You better keep the whelps off my ass.” Kevin said as he started flying towards the cave.

“I wanted to tank the dragon.” Viktor teased.

As the gnome vanished and the dragon flew away a few moments later, Chuck started to pull his raid group back together. Get the guys focused on what they'd come to the zone for. “Looks like the gnome finally chickened out. Come on, guys, and Johnny. We've got work to do.”

The Gents switched back to their raid specs and started mounting up for the ride through the marsh to Onxya's Lair.


End file.
